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Dinoshark

Dinoshark (2010) Movie Poster
  •  USA  •    •  92m  •    •  Directed by: Kevin O'Neill.  •  Starring: Eric Balfour, Iva Hasperger, Aarón Díaz, Dan Golden, Humberto Busto, Guillermo Iván, Roger Corman, Christina Nicole, Richard Miller, Liv Boughn, Robert Roessel, Gary J. Tunnicliffe, Erika Zinser.  •  Music by: Cynthia Brown.
       A baby dinoshark swims away from a broken chunk of Arctic glacier that broke away due to global warming. Three years later, the dinoshark is a ferocious predatory adult and kills tourists and locals offshore from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The protagonist, Trace, is first to notice the Dinoshark and witnesses his friend get eaten, but has trouble convincing people that a creature of such antiquity is still alive and eating people.

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   Length:  Languages:  Subtitles:
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Review:

Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Image from: Dinoshark (2010)
Dinoshark is a lot of things but a shark it certainly isn't. For starters, it's a Pliosaur, which means marine reptile and therefore more closely related to crocodiles. So this is either a Pliosaurus or a Kronosaurus. These creatures did jump to capture land prey as evidenced by fossils and actually fed on sharks and other marine life, so the big problem for me with many of these movies is why do they all suddenly go after humans? Even if this creature were frozen in ice as a baby for 150 million years (at least they got the timing right), and somehow global warming has caused said creature to wake up from its unusually long hibernation, why would it suddenly feel the need to continually feast on a species it knows nothing about? Just like Sharktopus, the setting is Mexico but unlike Sharktopus, the special effects were at least done a little better in Dinoshark and looked slightly more plausible. The overhead shots where you see the Pliosaur just below the surface swimming around it's prey is pretty cool, but the scenes that have it jumping up into boats are quite lame. I also don't get why it felt the need to bring down a helicopter. In what way would a 150 million year old predator even know that a helicopter was even edible? Most likely even at it's immense size, the noise and the down-draft would simply have driven it off.

Another thing with these movies is that they all seem to follow a central plot. Authorities never, ever listen until it's too late. Even when they realise that people are being killed and naturally think it's a tiger shark, they never close beaches, they never do proper searches. In reality, even at the merest hint of a shark patrolling waters off popular beaches, those beaches are closed until further notice. So while we can all agree that the premise of the movie is too far fetched to be taken seriously, I'd still wish to see some kind of logic behind what people tend to do in these situations, regardless of whether they agree it's a prehistoric creature or not.

The death scenes in this are another thing that bugged me. Not only did the hottest girl in the whole movie, die in the first 5 minutes, the death scenes were all pretty bad, and by bad I mean terrible. Lots of blood in the water clouded most of the action. This Pliosaur is ripping apart bodies as it would do, yet it leaves arms and legs floating in the water and on a couple of occasions a whole half-body? I don't think so. Even more ridiculous is when the lead "actor", Eric Balfour, and a couple of his friends go to try and find another friend who was recently killed along with the girl he was with, good ol' Dinoshark returns to the scene to eat his hat!! Yes you read that right, it goes back, to eat his hat. It doesn't bother to jump out of the water this time to eat the girl standing on the wharf, it just swallows the hat and swims away. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Just once I'd like to see a movie like this that actually had some kind of logical progression and some measure of decent direction. A lack of budget shouldn't be the reason to let go of sheer common sense.

In short this movie isn't funny at all, it's just dumb. It may not be as dumb as Sharktopus, but then that's hardly a yardstick to measure anything against. Dinoshark tries in vain to be intelligent but just comes off as haphazard.


Review by metalrage666 from the Internet Movie Database.

 
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