Supercroc |
USA • 2007 • 85m •
  • Directed by: Scott Harper. • Starring: Cynthia Rose Hall, Matt Blashaw, Kim Little, David Novak, Kristen Quintrall, Marat Glazer, Noel Thurman, Steven Glinn, Allen Duncan, Michael Tower, Shaley Scott, Kim Garrett, Elvan Price Jr.. • Music by: Eliza Swenson.      A team of soldiers must stop a giant, bloodthirsty crocodile from reaching a nearby city, while trying to avoid being a meal for the beast themselves.
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Terribly acted and directed, looking awful and cheap, sounding absolutely incomprehensible and featuring a writing that makes even the text on a box of cereals sounding as deep as Tolstoy, Supecroc is an utter and complete embarrassment.
Some American soldiers in California - we are never told exactly what they were doing - find a giant crocodile. Most of them get wiped out in very poor CGI scenes, and the croc starts heading towards L.A.
Let's begin with the ludicrous bits: 1) The soldiers are in America, and yet they keep behaving as if they were in a mission beyond enemy lines; 2) I loved the classy bits, like the fact that in the fight scenes you hear gunshots even when nobody is shooting or that the camera focuses on the back of the croc, which FILLS ALL THE DAMN SCREEN and makes the action impossible to follow; 3) We are told in a solemn tone - in the kind of exposition made of infos you can gather in five seconds on the web - that a crocodile cannot lift its head. In fact, the female protagonist escapes the monster (which is about thrice the size of a T-Rex) by climbing a tree. A couple of minutes later, the croc jumps twenty feet in the air and swallows a whole helicopter. Huh? 4) A small group of soldiers is sent by an evil scientist to steal the eggs of the crocodile. Hilariously, they arrive on the scene on a small white van, but dressed in their military uniforms. So, either it was a secret mission and perhaps they were supposed to LOOK LIKE CIVILIANS, or it wasn't, so what were they doing with the van? 5) A priceless bit has the Army helping the citizens of a town to retreat before the arrival of the monster. We are shown soldiers putting ID tags on the inhabitants. What exactly is written on those tags?? "Not the crocodile"?!? 6) The croc cannot be killed by missiles, and yet a small bomb in the guts blows it to smithereens; 7) How exactly did the beast survive unnoticed in California for more than a couple of seconds? We are talking about a thirty-feet behemoth here. 8) The officers are shown a thermal image of the croc walking, and the evil scientist tries to persuade them it's just "A SWARM OF BEES". I understand she was corrupt and wanted to trick them, but not even a lobotomized monkey would buy it. A crocodile-shaped swarm of bees? 9) Character development is.... wait a second, WHAT character development? About three hours after the death of her fiancé (the movie opens with a long talk about the plans for an imminent marriage), the female character hooks up with the alpha male protagonist and has a good laugh at the thought of what has just happened. 10) A random shot has a computer technician supposedly consulting a map of the zone. Only, I'm almost sure that on the screen we can glimpse a WORLD MAP. It kind of reminds me of Homer Simpson in Africa, with his cartoon map on the back of the box of crackers.
Review by artemiswantsprey [IMDB 3 December 2009] from the Internet Movie Database.
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