Outpost: Black Sun |
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UK • 2012 • 101m •
   • Directed by: Steve Barker. • Starring: Catherine Steadman, Richard Coyle, Ali Craig, Nick Nevern, Daniel Caltagirone, Gary McDonald, Johnny Meres, Julian Wadham, Michael Byrne, Domenic Pontone, Clive Russell, John P. Arnold, Philip Barratt. • Music by: Theo Green.      In the closing stages of WW2, a German scientist is working on a frightening new technology that has the power to create an immortal Nazi army. Flash forward to present day, and a NATO task force is hurriedly deployed to Eastern Europe, where a sinister enemy appears to be mercilessly killing everything in its path. But this is no ordinary foe. Only Helena, a gutsy investigator on the trail of the notorious war-criminal Klausener, accepts the reality of that they are facing a battalion of Nazi Storm-Troopers, a veritable zombie army on the march. With the help of Wallace, a man who's been chasing Nazi secrets for years, the two of them team up with a Special Forces Unit to venture deep behind enemy lines. Their mission to fight their way back to the source of this evil army and prevent the seemingly inevitable rise of the 4th Reich.
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Review:
I guess they figured they'd make more money with the sequel if they included a female this time around. The first "Outpost" movie was all-male, which made it less appealing, and I thank them for bringing the gorgeous Catherine Steadman into the fray. She's sort of the Natalie Portman type, only much prettier and a far better actress (which admittedly isn't difficult). I also thank them for not turning her character into some mindless lara-croftian uber-female who kills Nazombies with the ease of a skinny gun-waving supermodel having her period. Quite to the contrary, her character is quite naïve and even somewhat incompetent, though she does prove to have above-human powers by actually surviving a shot through the chest at point-blank -' without immediate medical aid; more on that nonsense later.
What I'd like to know is why the Nazombies (Nazi zombies, for those of you who still haven't figured it out) don't use their odor to kill the enemy. These undead goofballs have been wearing the same uniforms for nearly 70 years, and because I have a hunch that zombies don't wash their clothes -' ever -' I suggest that next time they should try torturing and maiming NATO and UN troops by scent alone. There was a huge magnetic-field-disseminatingwhatever-the-hell machine, but no WASHING machine anywhere in sight in that large bunker. The stench alone should have had Steadman ill for hours, vomiting up her last 15 breakfasts. One swift rising of the armpit by a Nazombie would have had a whole NATO battalion writhing in agony. (Of course, in this scenario the NATO soldiers would have glued to their nostrils together by sticking clothes pegs, but that would result in too much hilarity for this "serious" movie.)
The plot is so silly that the "History Channel" should find plenty of ideas here for the next season of "Ancient Aliens". The film's ridiculous over-the-top quasi-advanced-aliens super-machine should be right up their alley. The movie ends with a lot of frankly unnecessary pomp, reminiscent of (i.e. ripping off) "The Raiders of the Lost Ark" and even "Return of the Jedi".
I have never understood the moronic tendency in these Nazombie flicks to make the Nazombie commander more intelligent than the other Nazombies. A zombie is a zombie, right? They're pretty much a classless lot, fulfilling the old Marxist dream of total equality. Or not. I know this is just horror-film fluff, but it's a bit silly that this zombie-manufacturing machine would actually live more brain-cells in the heads of commanders, while leaving the privates and other lower-ranked Nazombies as dumb as watermelons. If the Nazombie regulars have an IQ of 16, that should leave a top boss like Klausner with an IQ of 23; but all this means is that Klausner should take an hour less to tie his boots -' hardly the skills of a leader. Even sillier, Klausner's face is the only Nazombie mug that has stayed intact, i.e. he pretty much still looks like his old human self, whereas all the other (low-ranked) Nazombies look almost exactly alike. Very silly indeed.
I can't decide whether a giggling Nazombie witch waving an injection around gives the film a note of originality or merely renders it even more ridiculous. You be the judge. One thing I do know though: the ending IS laughable. Once Coyle (stupidly cast as an American, with a goofy fake accent, as if there is such a thing as a shortage of American actors!) double-crosses Steadman, things get extremely stupid. It gets dumber in the last scene, when Coyle and Steadman declare war on each other like two snotty kids. (Which means that this brunette girly yet AGAIN chases after an international mastermind criminal ALONE, without the help of professional institutions such as CIA that actually do know what the hell they're doing.) The producers were hell-bent on doing more sequels, and they wanted to make sure we knew. Thank you for letting me know, movie -' for letting me know that the sequel will be even DUMBER so that I can avoid watching it. (Unless Steadman is in it again; then I'll think about it.)
Kosovo isn't located on planet Zong hence hasn't got only two colors, you know -' as this movie might mislead you to believe. But that's the problem with these modern films: directors nowadays seem to think that depressing-looking mono-colour visuals make for a dazzling cinematic experience.
Review by fedor8 from the Internet Movie Database.
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