Outlaw of Gor |
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 • USA • 1988 • 89m •   • Directed by: John 'Bud' Cardos. • Starring: Urbano Barberini, Rebecca Ferratti, Jack Palance, Donna Denton, Russel Savadier, Nigel Chipps, Alex Heyns, Tullio Moneta, Larry Taylor, Michael Brunner, Michelle Clarke, Christobel d'Ortez, Natasha Piotrowski. • Music by: Pino Donaggio.     A beefy blonde and his oily friend Watney are teleported by a rose quartz because The Elder thinks that Xeno, the Priest by a clearly drunk Jack Palance, has eyes for the throne. Of course, Cabot cares nothing for such intrigue just for the Princess he had "ooh-la-la" with from the previous film "Gor". The Elder is off, though. It's the Queen who wants the throne for her own. Naturally, Watney is seduced by the Queen to implicate Cabot murdering the King, and Cabot and his platinum blonde midget friend escape off into the desert, where they free a slave girl and are just as quickly captured by a bounty hunter. The Princess is forced, meanwhile, by the Queen to fight The Leather Women.
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Review:
Sadly, Outlaw of Gor is nothing like the books. Given my description above, some might breathe a sigh of relief at that. Unfortunately, by taking away the sex, having a budget less than that of the average teenager's weekly pocket money and doing some awful re-inventing of the novels' original ideas (yes there were some!), the filmmakers literally killed the golden goose and replaced it with a prize turkey.
Outlaw is just horrendous throughout, from the acting, the sets, the laughable "costumes", the editing and dialogue right down to the fight scenes that appeared to have been choreographed by the Marx Bros. But the worst thing is seeing how little they used the original material. Nevermind the porn, they plucked names out of the books and didn't do a whole lot else. Tarl Cabot, the hero of the novels, is translated into a weedy vegetarian who is totally against slavery - a complete reversal from the novels. Likewise the Priest-Kings - In the books alien insectoids who ruled the planet. In the movie we get.....Jack Palance, who doesn't seem to be in command of his own lines, let alone the planet. And yes, Jack leers and mugs his way throughout the movie, at least having the grace to look embarrassed at several points.
The plot is feeble, centering around an evil Queen's attempts to take control of the city of Koroba by murdering her husband and blaming it on Cabot. There then follows interminable amounts of wandering about in the desert by Cabot and his midget henchman (I kid you not!). We're also treated to far too many shots of the midget's rear end during the film (I mentioned the costumes were rubbish, didn't I?) and awful moralising dialogue by Cabot about the evils of slavery.
There are no special effects to speak of - the budget was too miniscule for that, just the heady excitement of one lame swordfight after another. At the end, which really sums up the whole movie and had me in hysterics, Tarl Cabot makes as if to snap his sword over his knee - a symbolic gesture of peace. Would have been good too, except that the sword does not break - it bends into a U shape like it was made out of thin tin. Yep, that's Outlaw of Gor for ya - all bent out of shape.
Review by Rob Taylor from the Internet Movie Database.
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