Nuevos Extraterrestres, Los |
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Spain • 1983 • 80m •
  • Directed by: Juan Piquer Simón. • Starring: Ian Sera, Nina Ferrer, Susana Bequer, Sara Palmer, Óscar Martín, Maria Albert, Emilio Linder, Concha Cuetos, Manuel Pereiro, Frank Braña, Guillermo Antón, Frank Sussman, Gary Richardson. • Music by: Michael Demer, Librado Pastor.      A little boy who has an extensive array of pets he likes to call "specimens" finds an alien egg to hatch, somewhat like Horton. The creature manages to use his snout to suck up peanuts and warp time and space with his fingers. Unfortunately, his brother who is found by poachers goes on a killing spree.
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Review:
It also gets off to a rousing start by subjecting us to a full length performance of the worst version of an 80's pop song ever heard by human ears. Seriously, as if the movie didn't have enough problems with pacing and atmosphere and dialog and characterization, it also alienates us by subjecting us to a supposed "studio session" where the pop star sings a would be song about driving a car with some of the most maladroit lyrics you will ever hear. (FYI, Mr. Pop Star, you don't want feel the wind in your EYES, you want feel it in your hair or your face. If you feel it in your EYES, you are effectively blinded and will soon crash your car.) The character comes off as an abrasive, self-important jerk, and his cronies and cohorts seem to have been drained of all intelligence, humor, self-awareness or even basic motor functions.
I have to say that I liked the little boy. In spite of the high-pitched feminine voice they dubbed over his part, he seemed genuinely alive with the enthusiasm and magic of childhood, which is a miracle given the situations he was probably working in. The cast and crew probably loved him to death, and he was probably as the only person in the film who wasn't aware that he was sinking into a pile of suck. The kid's performance, even buried under a painfully affected dub, adds a star to the rating.
Also of interest is a synthesizer-heavy soundtrack with very "New Age music" elements that both adds to and takes from the movie's watchability. It's got some nice hypnotic "drone" and "trance" elements, but there is far too much of it and it's mixed waaaay too loud at times. It adds another star to the ratings. Well, half a star, but it would have been a full star if the composer had cut it in about half and turned the volume dial down to "10".
As far the rest...I'm pretty sure the director just pointed the camera at the actors and let them roll. It doesn't look like a film with very many second takes or screenplay rewrites, and the poor actors (who come off as European community theater players at best) are left to struggle with the script as best they can. And as I mentioned, the horrible English dub robs their performances of even the limited nuance and dignity they may have contributed to the film in the first place.
Boy, what a painful film. I recommend saving it for times when you feel bad about yourself and your career and prospects. Watching "Pod People" for even a few minutes will put things in perspective: "I may have made some dumb mistakes", you can tell yourself, "but at least I never had anything to to with 'Pod People!'".
Review by lemon_magic from the Internet Movie Database.
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