Creature Wasn't Nice, The |
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 • USA • 1983 • 88m •   • Directed by: Bruce Kimmel. • Starring: Cindy Williams, Bruce Kimmel, Leslie Nielsen, Gerrit Graham, Patrick Macnee, Paul Brinegar, Cherie Steinkellner, Carol Ann Williams, Margaret Willock, Alan Abelew, Robert Dryer, Peter DuPre, Jed Mills. • Music by: David Spear.    When the spaceship Vertigo stops to explore a previously unknown planet, the crew finds an unrecognized dollop of protoplasm and takes it aboard ship to return it to earth for analysis. On board, the lifeform expands into an oozing person-eating monster which communicates primarily by means of a Vegas lounge act. The crew is gobbled up one after another until the two surviving crewmembers come up with a plan.
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Review:
A person wants so much to like this movie that it's hard not to wonder what went wrong. The costumes and sets would have worked well in a serious SF television series. The painted sets are almost archetypically 1960s Sci Fi. When the script works, it works despite being G-rated in its humor, a rare feat these days. The actors bring non sequitur moments of dignity, glimpsed just here and there beneath the surface, though those moments of dignity clash with the parody that the movie tries so hard to be.
In many ways it looks as though the author had been intending an absurdist work, a sort of Ionesco or Beckett theatre of the absurd set in outer space, then tried to make it marketable by disguising it as the usual parody with goofy shtick and talented comedic actors. On the other hand, this movie also looks like a cinematic fan-fic that the actors all played out as a favor to writer Bruce Kimmel, somehow shining in their individual moments despite the poor editing and flaccid plot (the actors often appear to be enjoying themselves rather than worrying about creating a movie).
Oddly, the best lines and comedic set pieces go to the least famous stars, Cindy Williams and Bruce Kimmel, while celebrated old hands Leslie Nielsen, Gerrit Graham, and Patrick Macnee end up dying at the hands of the creature. It's a little bit like the tactic used in, for example, the first Harry Potter film, in which the several unknown child stars in that film were surrounded by brilliant actors who helped make them look good (although Cindy Williams and Bruce Kimmel are far from unknown).
Williams demonstrates impressive comedic timing in her role as the Ignored Voice of Reason; for a good example of such timing, look at the gag when she screams an absurdly long scream or when she patiently (and, of course, unsuccessfully) tries to explain to the resident scientist that the monster had just finished a lounge act about how much it wants to eat all of them. But the script and editing never allow her likable moments on-screen to cohere into an actual character.
Kimmel is adorable as the clumsy, nervous Space Cadet; there's nothing particularly original or hilarious about his shtick as crew cook, crew monster bait, and crew sad sack, but he excels at the puppy dog role so well it's hard not to want to give his character a hug.
However, it becomes noticeable that, as the writer, Kimmel has made his character the hero in lieu of the more experienced actors around him: his character finds the goo (which likes him), faces the monster on his own with a brief comedic monologue, defeats the monster alongside Williams' character, and finds himself praised repeatedly by the lone female character throughout the film, who spends an inordinate amount of time with her arm wrapped protectively around him. His character "gets the girl" -- while the characters played by Leslie Nielsen, Gerrit Graham, and Patrick Macnee get eaten. This only increases the feeling that this movie is a fan-fic for Kimmel, with pals Nielsen, Graham, and Macnee gamely playing along. (I have no idea whether Kimmel is actually pals with any of these actors.) Leslie Nielsen, Gerrit Graham, and Patrick Macnee give their usual talented performances, but their performances are oddly laid back for a comedy movie: it's never quite clear whether they are playing this as a comedy or as a comedic drama. Nielsen's character has more in common with his serious-minded Commander Adams from Forbidden Planet (albeit more snarky) than he does with any of the characters Nielsen has played in recent years. (For example, there is a scene where Nielsen's character is apparently intended to be perversely glancing down Williams' neckline, but the way Nielsen plays it, it looks far more as though he is gazing down with fatherly affection on Williams and Kimmel as the frightened Designated Couple cling to each other.) Graham's character is clearly intended to be a parody Red Neck in Space figure, but he gives the character a certain angry dignity that is at odds with the parodic feel of the movie. Macnee always has fun with whatever role he accepts these days, but he shows his usual talented comedic timing even with jokes that the movie never seems to take anywhere once he's finished with them.
I would rate this movie a '9' for potential that peeps out from every corner of the movie and for the actors all bringing far more to the script than it merits, and a '4' for its failure at utilizing any of that potential, rounding to a '6' because it's just not good enough for a '7'. The only way to enjoy this work is to treat it as a group of amusing and likable set pieces and not a movie at all.
Review by CineMage
from the Internet Movie Database.
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