The zombie flick starts off promisingly, with an incredibly dumb brunette abandoning a train after her friend had been murdered by a confused, slowly decomposing semi-zombie. Mind you, when I say that GOD starts promisingly, I don't mean that in a "Blade Runner" promising kind of way, but more in a decent-zombie-B-flick promising manner. However, GOD starts sinking rapidly with the appearance of Brigitte Lahaie. Don't get me wrong, it's not her fault; she gives us a splendid view of her perfect body and boobs, just minutes before being blown into bits. It's the fault of the damn script, which quickly disintegrates into bull's dung from this point onwards.
Lahaie plays an uninfected villager who – somehow and for whatever bizarreidiotic reason – acts as Svengali to the zombies around her. She helps them snatch and kill the uninfected, rather than abandon the village. There is absolutely no explanation for this; it's merely a dumb plot-device to prolong the movie or to make it forcibly unpredictable. Nor is it explained why the zombies don't want to kill her and obey her.
The brunette is incredibly stupid, possibly the most dim-witted and confused movie heroine I've ever seen. One of her many foolish decisions was to refuse to tell the blind girl about the danger – as if making the girl think she is not surrounded by the living grape-dead actually makes her safe. Predictably and logically, the blind girl is appalled and confused by the lies and runs away and is murdered. Beheaded, no less; there's the French for ya, saving the most sadistic demise for a helpless invalid dyevochka. Her end is a direct result of the dumb brunette's idiotic decision-making process which dominates GOD. It's just part of a string of dumb decisions and actions she makes. A little later, the dumb brunette meets Lahaie who requests to hold the brunette's revolver only minutes after they'd met; typically for our bird-brained brunette heroine, she suspects nothing, even turning her back to Lahaie so that the chesty blond can attack her with more ease.
Just minutes after she'd been betrayed by Lahaie, the awfully dumb brunette approaches her, carrying a torch. To get her revenge? To prevent another attack? Not really. Instead of attacking her, the brunette just stares at Lahaie – as if she were a dumb zombie herself; Lahaie predictably takes advantage of the situation and pounces on her. Duh. Lahaie's character is so absurd, she even has an unintentionally funny moment when she tells the two armed villagers that she "didn't hear anything" right after the dumb brunette lets out a very loud scream nearby. The two dolts predictably don't suspect anything, never questioning why she'd lie about it.
GOD then even manages to contradict itself when the brunette describes the peasant's daughter as "crazy" in spite of having "only a small sore". That's the same peasant's daughter who tried to SAVE the dumb brunette from her own father and got killed in the process: she wasn't crazy at all. That's the thanks you get for trying to save a Frenchwoman! (But isn't it such a typical trait of the French to confuse sanity with insanity?) The dumb brunette shows yet more "gratefulness" (or grapefulness?) a little later when she murders two unarmed uninfected men – the same men who had come to her rescue so selflessly just a day earlier! And she is supposed to be GOD's heroine! We're supposed to root for this illogical female moron. But it's things like these that make a French movie so French; they have such a skewered sense of morality, bless 'em; it's almost comical at times.
The dumb brunette actually suggests to the armed men that they go to her fiancé's wine-brewery right after they'd concluded that grapes are the culprit! That's like traveling to the Arctic just as scientists announce that a new Ice Age had started. On their way there, the trio engages in a moronic political discussion in which the military and nuclear power-plants are named as the enemy of man and society – i.e. the writer's pet-peeves. No scene is too silly for those left-wingers to advance their cretinous propaganda with; no opportunity or situation, no matter how unsuitable or daft, is missed out to harass viewers with their fanatical, logic-free ideology.
Strangely enough, it turns out that it wasn't nuclear waste that turned the normally happy-to-please grapes into sour grapes of death, but her fiancé's experimental pesticide. When "The Simpsons" plays around with these kinds of dumb left-wing fantasies at least we can laugh WITH it, because it's a comedic cartoon. But GOD we laugh AT, because the film-makers try to lend "socio-politicalenvironmental relevance" to a goofy little zombie movie. God knows George Romero had tried this and failed, time and time again, the Marxist putz. You can't preach while standing on your head. You can't preach while taking a dump. And you certainly can't preach in a zombie movie. There is a time and place for empty-headed preaching, and these three situations just aren't it.
Film buffs – nearly all incurable Marxists - like to describe GOD and other movies like it as "subversive". They must mean "idiotic". But then again, they DO get awfully confused.
The script is a mess in every sense of the word. So badly written is this "zombie message movie" that GOD manages to unintentionally turn its politically-correct heroes into villains and morons, while turning the supposedly narrow-minded trigger-happy hick into the voice of reason. How had they achieved this? By having the dumb brunette murder her rescuers, the writer inadvertently turns the gun-happy old geezer into the hero and smart guy, because it turns out he'd been right all along about killing everybody. This, in turn, renders his left-wing-thinking young buddy wrongstupid because he proposed a softer approach to the zombies.
Review by Fedor Petrovic (fedor8) from the Internet Movie Database.