Green Slime, The |
  • Italy / Japan / USA • 1968 • 90m •    • Directed by: Kinji Fukasaku. • Starring: Robert Horton, Luciana Paluzzi, Richard Jaeckel, Bud Widom, Ted Gunther, David Yorston, Robert Dunham, Gary Randolf, Jack Morris, Eugene Vince, Don Plante, Linda Hardisty, Richard Hylland. • Music by: Charles Fox, Toshiaki Tsushima.      A giant asteroid is heading toward Earth so some astronauts disembark from a nearby space station to blow it up. The mission is successful, and they return to the station unknowingly bringing back a gooey green substance that mutates into one-eyed tentacled monsters that feed off electricity. Soon the station is crawling with them, and people are being zapped left and right!
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Another shining example of "the future" is the advancement of the thick yellow laser. All astronauts will be armed with giant laser guns that do not actually burn through things very deeply, but rather just apply pressure to them, much like a child's "super soaker." The thick yellow laser is far more advanced than any laser we use today, as it is fairly friendly and harmless.
We will also use jump cuts when focusing on foreign objects that float in space, such as perfectly round and spherical asteroids. This way, we will not have to watch the object move from being out of focus to in focus, we can sit back and rely on the computer technology to show us the picture right when it is centered and clear.
Another future advancement for which I am excited is the gendered space uniforms. We will take a giant step back in time and civil rights and return to gendered activities in "the future." Women will be required to wear plain colored, short, cute dresses and their hair long and brushed (or curled), while men will wear various space suits or police uniforms with badges. Space suits will be a shiny silver color and will come equipped with matching gloves and motorcycle helmet visors for when that sun is just a little too bright. Women will be permitted only to work in the infirmary with other wounded women and men. They will serve as mother figures for those male astronauts who need a little reassurance. When things get too scary, the women will be the first to scream their heads off and they will need extra comforting.
It will never be clear who is "in charge" and the authority will switch from person to person. If any man wishes to be in charge, he will simply say "that is an order" and one must obey his order. If two men are feuding, for example, this is a good way for them to decide who is the better man. Each man gives orders to other men and ends the order with a statement of authority like, "I am in charge here" or "follow my orders." This way we know who is momentarily the better man.
It is to be remembered that there is no sense of humor in space. Any person caught smiling or having a good time will not be taken seriously. Even space dances are to be civil and respectable affairs in which a man must give his individual permission to other men which allows them to dance with certain women. The woman may not smile or object to this, even if she is engaged to the man's worst enemy.
Space monsters of "the future" will live on asteroids rather than planets. They feed off of "energy", mainly from light sources such as hand held flashlights. When they touch these light sources, their tentacles then turn into festive sparklers and flail about, only to shed drops of blood which then reproduce more monsters as excelled speeds. Space monsters cannot be contained in rooms, for they will lose their tempers and begin destroying everything. Although their main concern is feeding off of energy, they love to attack humans and electrocute them to release some of their energy. This is a warning to humans to always carry a flashlight which can be used to deter the space monster into a room with an air-lock door.
In "the future" we have secured a way for astronauts to fly about in space wearing only a silver space suit and no attachment cord. They can use a rocket powered backpack to guide their bodies through space's thin atmosphere.
If in the situation of firing yellow lasers at space monsters, please be sure your laser gun is loaded to its maximum capacity. You could not imagine how many laser guns lose their juice after about five shots. If this happens while in the midst of a space fight, simply throw your state-of-the-art laser gun at the space monster. It will cause a small explosion and the monster will be thwarted. You can then run away from the monster. .... This movie proves that the future is an exciting place full of red and yellow glowing lights on television screens, panels of unlabeled buttons and colorful cubicles with glass walls that enable you to see the entire command station. Dry cleaning will soon be called "detoxing" in which you place your clothing into a sealed room which releases radioactive energy into the air and in turn cleans your suits spotless! Just make sure you do not have a single speck of asteroid slime on your suit or the energy in the detox chamber could cause great harm to our laundry mat of "the future".
Lastly, the musical tastes of the future will evolve to sound much like Jimi Hendrix. It is new and cool to be psyhedelic in space. No matter how square and humorless you are, at least you got some rockin' beats and mindblowing guitar riffs. GREEN SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMEEE!!! AW YEAH!
Review by ethylester from the Internet Movie Database.
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