Colony, The |
  • USA • 1998 • 91m •   • Directed by: Peter Geiger. • Starring: Robert Amico, James Avery, David Campbell, Cristi Conaway, Michelle Davison, Isabella Hofmann, Jeff Kober, Eric Allan Kramer, Jennifer O'Dell, John Prosky, Clare Salstrom, James Sebastian, David Jean Thomas. • Music by: Paul Rabjohns.   A group of aliens arrive on Earth as part of an advance invasion force. Their mission is to kidnap a small sample of humans and run them through a series of rigorous tests to determine if they would make suitable slaves. Harper, one of the alien experimenters, has beceme frustrated with her planet's endless cycle of conquest and extermination and begins to feel some sympathy for her human captives. While the prisoners see a glimmer of hope in the compassionate alien, will it be any use in stopping the enormous attack fleet just a few days from Earth?
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Review:
The movie has to be the most apathetic I've come across in the genre. The sets look like a cross between a 1970s Dr Who set and someone's ill-formed idea of a sponge-painted living room. The lighting is unimaginative (if your sets are going to be that bad, at least film them in semi-darkness to hide the plasterboard and create some ambiance). Of the abducted quartet, the girl stands out as being particularly lame, but none of them is given a personality. The aliens' plans for world domination are just plain silly - all they need is a birth control pill and their problems are solved. Most of the movie consists of people running down corridors. Yes, it really is that exciting. The "ray gun" special effect is... curious, to say the least (what use is a weapon that takes a 15-second concentrated blast to kill, and even then the guy comes back for more?). The script is like a bad episode of The A-Team, and the ladies' hairstyles come from the same era, so they look like school teachers instead of an advance team of murderous alien invaders. When we finally get to see what the aliens really look like, they're in suspended animation and never even get out of their boxes. The resolution of the story - traitor alien simply has a few words with invading fleet commander and without a second thought he heads home - is truly the sign of a writer who's never had an idea more complex than a Saturday morning cartoon (I mean the bad ones with no plot, action, or characterization) in his or her life.
But seriously, what is with the naked chick?! Was it really just so they could justify putting flesh on the DVD cover to boost sales?
Review by Sara C from the Internet Movie Database.
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