Star Wars Holiday Special, The |
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USA • 1978 • 97m •
   • Directed by: Steve Binder, David Acomba. • Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, James Earl Jones, Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Diahann Carroll, Marty Balin, Craig Chaquico, David Freiberg. • Music by: Ian Fraser.     It is Lifeday, a holiday that is celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han Solo are trying to get to the planet where Chewie's family is waiting for him, but the empire is out searching for the rebels, giving everyone a hard time. While we are waiting we get a look at the everyday life of a wookie family. We meet all the familiar characters from Star Wars and we are introduced to Bobba Fett during a small cartoon. We also pay a visit to the Cantina and meet all the monsters again.
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Review:
The film opens on Han Solo and Chewbacca fleeing Star Destroyers in the Millennium Falcon (with a completely fake-looking background and an announcer screaming "It's The Star Wars Holiday Special!!!"). They are trying to get to Chewie's home planet, Kashyyyk, so he can celebrate "Life Day" with his family.
On Kashyyyk, we meet Chewie's wife, Malla, his father, Itchy, and his son, Lumpy. There is a scene that lasts over ten minutes where they all speak to each other in "wookiee-talk". That's right, "wookiee-talk"! They bark and growl at each other throughout the entire scene like we're supposed to understand them! And the outside shots of the house are obviously drawings! But anyways, afterwards, Malla decides to contact Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 on a "picture-phone" to see if they've heard any news from Han and Chewie. Luke looks like he's wearing way too much makeup by the way, but he says that he hasn't heard anything yet. So Malla then decides to contact a friend named Saundan, using the same "picture-phone". Saundan tells her that Han and Chewie are on their way (sounds like an amazing plot so far, doesn't it?).
Just then, James Earl Jones makes the briefest cameo appearance as the voice of Darth Vader in a ten-second scene made up of stock footage (all we see is him walking down a corridor while talking to someone).
Back on Kashyyyk, Malla is watching a cooking show starring an eccentric, female chef with four arms (played by Harvey Korman in drag). After getting upset because she's not able to keep up with the chef's four arms, she turns off the TV. Suddenly, their good friend Saundan arrives at the house with presents for the whole family. The presents include a virtual reality/holographic video for Itchy of Diahann Carroll singing seductively to him. This had to be the single most stupid scene in the film. It was so idiotic and cheap that it didn't even make sense. And Diahann Carroll looked more like a cheap Christmas tree/mermaid thing than a holographic beauty.
Afterwards, they are contacted by Princess Leia and C-3PO through the "picture-phone", who wanted to wish them a happy Life Day. There is a rumor that Carrie Fisher was on drugs during the filming of this mess since her eyes appear to be somewhat dilated and she claims she has no recollection of having even filmed this. Not only do her pupils seem dilated, but both of her eyes are looking in different directions and she can't even seem to walk straight.
After hanging up with Leia and C-3PO, a group of stormtroopers and Imperial officers burst through the door. They raid the house in search of Han and Chewie, who haven't arrived yet. After a while, one of the Imperial officers sits down to take a break. He sits down in front of a machine that plays a video of The Jefferson Starship (AKA: The Jefferson Airplane). The group plays a song using lightsabers instead of microphones (Ooh, how clever!).
While the stormtroopers continue their search, Lumpy starts watching a cartoon short about Luke, Han, R2-D2, C-3PO, Leia, and Chewie's adventures. It isn't known for sure whether or not the cartoon's story is what is actually taking place with the rest of the rebels. It does, however, feature Boba Fett. That's right! Boba Fett was actually introduced in this as a cartoon character before "The Empire Strikes Back"! Luke meets the stranger, Boba Fett, after he saves him from a monster. Afterwards, Luke asks for Boba Fett's help once more when Han is attacked by a sleeping virus. Boba Fett and Chewie go out looking for a cure. And when they come back, the virus has put Luke to sleep as well. Boba Fett cures both of them, but then reveals himself to one of Darth Vader's bounty hunters! The cartoon short really makes no sense since Boba Fett's "evil plan" isn't revealed in the end and if he really is one of Darth Vader's bounty hunters, than why does he help Luke and the gang out in the first place?
After the cartoon is over, we are taken to a cantina somewhere, where a bartender, Ackmena (played by Bea Arthur), has just been told by Imperial officers that the Empire has just placed a curfew and that the cantina needs to be closed immediately. Ackmena at first has trouble getting the drunks to leave, so she decides to start singing. Finally, everyone eventually starts leaving during the song. If Bea Arthur's singing won't make them leave, nothing will! She finally gets everyone gone except for an alien played by Harvey Korman, who is infatuated by her.
Back on Kashyyyk, Han and Chewie finally arrive, but are confronted by a stormtrooper. Fortunately, the stormtrooper falls over the balcony and to his death. So anyways, the whole wookiee family is back together now and can celebrate Life Day in peace. The movie finishes with the family celebrating a weird Life Day ritual and with Princess Leia singing (off-key of course . . .) an annoying Life Day carol to stock footage of the much better "Episode IV: A New Hope".
This is not just a bad movie . . . it's an insult! It is a slap in the freaking face!!! It is beyond boring. It is beyond cheap. And it is beyond idiotic. It is actually so terrible that it is even depressing at some points yet unintentionally hilarious at others.
Review by Unknown from the Internet Movie Database.
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