Star Wars: Ewok Adventures - The Battle for Endor |
USA • 1985 • 94m •
  • Directed by: Jim Wheat, Ken Wheat. • Starring: Wilford Brimley, Warwick Davis, Aubree Miller, Siân Phillips, Carel Struycken, Niki Botelho, Paul Gleason, Eric Walker, Marianne Horine, Daniel Frishman, Tony Cox, Pam Grizz, Roger Johnson. • Music by: Peter Bernstein.      On the forest moon of Endor, the Towani family are preparing to leave. But now in the beginning of this second venture, Wicket and Cindel must face off against the evil Marauders. The Marauders capture all the Ewoks, and kill Cindel's family. The duo isn't at it alone, though. On their journey they meet Noa, an old hermit who is also looking for a way home, and his small but fast companion Teek. Together, the four friends try to rescue the Ewoks, facing off against a whole army of evil Marauders led by King Terak, a witch named Charal, and a bloodthirsty dragon.
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Everything else I've seen has been an utter waste of my time: Critters 4: They're Invading Your Space (1999), The Wiggles: Whoo Hoo! Wiggly Gremlins! (2003), Spaceballs (1987), Ghoulies (1991), Goonies (1991) Rover Dangerfield (1994) "ALF: The Animated Series" (1987), E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982), and Muppet Lift Off (1985) to name a few. There have been some bad films made post-2000 e.g., Where the Wild Things Are (2009), but the pre-2000 creature feature library is thoroughly horrible. Even more disturbing is that these films are hideous for the same exact reasons: 1) Awful screenplay. 2) Atrocious action choreography. 3) Dreadful editing.
Ewoks: The Battle for Endor is not exempt from these common CGI pitfalls. The screenplay simply fails to properly develop the romantic relationship between the two leads. They spoon each other in a mini waterfall for 10 minutes, and the viewer is supposed to be convinced that they care for each other. It's not convincing in the least. In fact, the script writers contradict themselves near the end of the film when the two leads do everything in their power to desert one another. Their actions are beyond stupid, as they inexplicably begin to doubt one another on speculative events that are promulgated from the institutions and persons that they initially abandoned for the sole purpose of being together. There is no reason for them to give a rat's arse about these people anymore, yet the male lead sides with them without hesitation. At that point, I wanted both leads to die for counterfeiting the very idea of love.
The action choreography is non-existent in Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. A character waves their sword or whip at the camera, which immediately cuts to show an enemy instantly die. Repeat ad infinitum. The final fight is laughable when two siamese twins (connected at the back) grab hold of one of the protagonists and bounce around the room like a superball. Interestingly, the sub-par editing is directly related to the fight scenes themselves. It's much easier to cut up the movie on an ad hoc basis to gloss over the unimaginative character interactions in combat, instead of mapping out fight scenes and brainstorming over fresh combinations of moves and maneuvers. There's really nothing else to say other than the obvious fact that no effort was put into the action set pieces, and it shows.
It would seem that filmmakers within the CGI genre showed almost no development or improvement before the year 2000. It is thus important that this review exists to inform readers of the futility inherent in watching CGI films released during that period of time. Nearly thirty reviews of The Ewoks: The Battle for Endor exist, almost all of them overwhelmingly positive, but the reasoning behind these high ratings is dubious at best. The pre-2000 wuxia CGI seems to consist solely of fanboys who will eat up anything and everything released under that particular genre's banner.
As a fan of CGI cinema, I think that this is a disservice to new viewers who are attempting to make the transition to better cinema. They may hit a pre-2000 CGI film and go running (perhaps screaming) back to Bollywood, unlike all the other CGI crap which belongs on Saturday morning kiddie hour.
Review by xXBoss-EbertXx from the Internet Movie Database.
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