Play-Mate of the Apes |
USA • 2002 • 89m •
   • Directed by: John Bacchus. • Starring: Erin Brown, Darian Caine, Debbie Rochon, Anoushka, Sharon Engert, Shelby Taylor, Dan Schwab, John Bacchus, Terry M. West, John Brady, Larry Wellman, E.J. Mays, Kriss Kross..   In the far distant future, sexy and fearless U.S. astronaut Gaylor and her shipmates crash land on a grim and desolate planet. Quickly out of their spacesuits and into each other's arms, unbridled lesbian seductions become their only hope for survival. But Gaylor and crew discover the planet to be dominated by a tyrannical race of intelligent talking apes led by the dastardly General Lade who plots the enslavement of all humans. The three astronauts are caught and imprisoned, yet Gaylor's smarts, girlish charms, and hot erotic beauty immediately catch the fancy of human-friendly ape Dr.Kweera well as the luscious wild woman Uvala. Soon, no woman can keep her "filthy" paws off Gaylor's young, scrumptious body, and a revolution of untamed and uninhibited female lust threatens to bring down the repressive ape society...or set it free!
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Review:
The rest is an often dire movie that will only appeal to fans who know what to expect from the studio's unique brand of less-than-stellar entertainment, i.e. lots of beautiful, typically surgically enhanced women engaging in mucho lesbian activity with nary a male in sight. Utilising a female cast which includes scream queen Debbie Rochon (sadly hidden in bad make-up and thus unable to take part in the sexual shenanigans), blonde bimbo Shelby Taylor, the sultry Darian Caine, and up-and-coming cult icon Misty Mundae, 90% of this film's running time consists of unconvincing staged antics as the various female characters lose what little clothing they have and basically fondle each other.
Otherwise the film attempts to be a dumb comedy and succeeds more often than not, with loads of bad "banana" jokes and overacting like there's no tomorrow. Humour is particularly strained and lacking in all areas. Being a science fiction film the requisite special effects of spaceships flying through space and landing in forests are horrendously bad but somehow still appealing via some tacky charm. The "apes" consist of guys in jeans and shirts running around with ape masks and hands and the apparent ideal footwear for astronauts is a pair of trainers wrapped in silver foil. Often the acting is incredibly bad from the female cast members, check out the opening scenes aboard the spaceship for evidence of this - especially the girl playing the Russian. In the same scene, also listen out for special effects which have astonishingly been stolen from the computer game Doom (the sound of the door closing)!
Eventually the plot evaporates completely and the inevitable 'wandering around in the woods' scenario takes over, complete with lots of bizarre and openly silly dance routines which smack of desperation. Meanwhile the various sim-sex scenes are totally unerotic with the seemingly bored actresses going through the motions and not even attempting to act convincingly. If fake breasts, fake tans, tattoos, and copious groping, all set to porn-film music, sounds like your idea of fun then you might enjoy this film - but probably not.
Review by Leofwine_draca from the Internet Movie Database.
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