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Alien Express
Alien Express (2005) Movie Poster
USA  •    •  120m  •    •  Directed by: Turi Meyer.  •  Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips, Sean Bott, Steven Brand, Todd Bridges, Steffanie Busey, Barry Corbin, Derrick Costa, Joseph Daniel Hamilton, Kellie Hamilton, Amy Locane, Stephen Rippey, Scott Vandiver.  •  Music by: Tom Batoy, Franco Tortora.
      A new super train is built when a meteorite crashes near by, releasing a tiny creature. Once it kills and consumes everyone on board the train, it begins to grow and multiply into hordes of different creatures.

Review:

Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Image from: Alien Express (2005)
Senator Frank Rawlings (Barry Corbin) is traveling on his new high-speed bullet train on his way to a campaign rally on his way to becoming president, but in the desert, a meteorite crashes near the train, stopping it long enough for Vic Holden, (Lou Diamond Phillips) a detective, to investigate the crash. Rawlings wants nothing to do with the crash, and orders his train to move, which it finally does. Convinced the accident is nothing to just throw away, Vic chases after the train and climbs on-board. When his suspicions were right, he discovers the train is infested with strange creatures from space that eat human flesh. Discovering this, he gets the Senator's Secret Service to help him in dealing with the deadly creatures. When all seems lost, he and his wife Rosie (Amy Locane) find out that the train is on a collision course with a gorge that has no support for it. Finding out that fire works best to destroy the creatures, Vic and Rosie decide to plunge the train into the gorge and get the passengers safely out of the way, but the creatures make it harder than they thought.

The Good News: OK, I know all about the hate that this movie has generated, and while I agree to some extent, this isn't the worst movie Sci-Fi has shown. That was "Parasite" not this movie. This does have a few redeeming factors. Despite what most of you say, I think most of the special effects work for the film. It has the same kind of charm that the old monster movies have: a cheep-looking creature but nicely imagined that has its own personality. The creatures themselves are given a nice new "power," they can fly around at super-sonic speeds, making them nearly invisible. There is a small flash that follows them around, so you can tell where they were a few seconds earlier. There is a good amount of gore in the film, so this has a small redeeming factor for those fans. We see several bodies completely ripped up, lots of skin missing, a giant pool of blood around the body, as well as the interior being devoured. There is also some great looking dismemberment, a gaggle of scratches and rips, and even some blood splatter. This does fit the tradition of hardly-dry Sci-Fi films. The film is also fast-paced, as there is always something happening. What is happening may not be the most exciting or convincing thing ever put on celluloid, something is always on screen. Explosions galore, lots of blood, and some minor trappings of suspense filter through, and it does have some great action.

The Bad News: Frankly, where to start. The effects, as mentioned above, could've been done more convincingly by a second-grader, the explosions are so cheaply made they cost more than the computer used to create them, and the dialog uttered by the "adults" in this film is so mind-nerving that a sledgehammer to the face might seem like a more tolerable activity are only a few things that frankly bugged the hell out of me. If you want more in depth reasons as to why this is, read the other comments on here. They cover it in much better detail and more accurately than I ever could.

The Final Verdict: With juvenile effects, laughable dialog, and a pathetic creature, I know it's shocking that I had some good things to say about it. The only people I can really recommend this too are those that perform their own "Mystery Science Theater 3000" on the movies they watch or those that loved the 60's monster films and miss the charm in the creatures from then. Otherwise, stay away; that isn't an option.

Review by slayrrr666 from the Internet Movie Database.

 
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