Extraterrestrial |
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Canada / USA • 2014 • 101m •
   • Directed by: Colin Minihan. • Starring: Brittany Allen, Freddie Stroma, Melanie Papalia, Jesse Moss, Anja Savcic, Gil Bellows, Michael Ironside, Sean Rogerson, Emily Perkins, Mike Kovac, Ian Brown, Fred Keating, Reese Alexander. • Music by: Blitz//Berlin.      A group of friends on a weekend trip to a cabin in the woods find themselves terrorized by alien visitors.
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Review:
The teen acting is just as bad as you would expect from any other movie out there. I deal with teenagers on a daily basis and, to their defence, I must say that it's only in movies where they seem so stupid. In every single teen movie, including this one, none of the characters they play have any depth, any thought higher than sex and drugs nor any resolve or character when it comes to difficult situations. I really do not understand why every single movie portrays teens the way it does because it simply does not reflect the reality and mindset of young people. This movie does not change the trend, essentially you see the same freaked-out, brainless and whimsical bimbos that flap their arms around as they run from danger. The same jocks which orang-utan attitudes to about everything they see around them. The same frivolous emotions that are thrown around and that you find yourself unable to empathise with, simply because they lack the depth (or the screen time) to become important.
I am stunned that Michael Ironside and Gil Bellows needed the money that badly to star in this movie. Given that they do though, as always, their acting is impeccable. So, the first half of the movie, while Ironside is on the screen, the movie does not suck as bad. Then Bellows takes over and extends the non-suckiness for a while longer. After those two are gone, the movie starts to suck again. I think that people like Michael Ironside and Gil Bellows are sort-of multi-talented jokers in a card game: you just pull them out and you save your ass.
For the story, it's a standard abduction "I know what you did last summer" horror type of thing which does not end. As the synopsis says, a group of teenagers (you see, even the synopsis refers to them as a "group", simply because their individuality is suppressed by the really crap screenplay) witnesses an alien crash, they shoot an alien and then the aliens want to get back at them. Surprisingly, after some characters get killed, others get abducted and you also have 10 minutes of movie shooting in space - OK, that's new. Then back on earth again.
This movie sucks so bad and that it would deserve a parody - perhaps some aliens smoking weed and cows falling from the sky, or some idiotic thing like that to mock this debauchery. On a more serious note, we are moving into an era where the "why" is made irrelevant and the movies are more about the "how". You have the technology to create "realistic" shots of space-ships, aliens, space but you simply lack the mental or spiritual prowess to write a short and solid story. I remember that when i was little, I wrote for English composition a story that was ridiculed in class because I dished out events without too much of a justification why they unfold. The difference is that this movie's story got published and mine did not - yet, they are pretty much on the same level.
In an nutshell, the problem is that you do not receive any reason for what is going on aside from the fact that the aliens want revenge for their shot comrade. Why do they get abducted instead of killed? Why does one of the teens get a sharp thing up his butt (is it supposed to be funny)? What is the purpose of that crawly insect-looking thing that enters his navel just before that? Why does he get a pyramid tattooed on his belly by the alien device? Perhaps, in order to conduct experiments on them, you say - yet, in that case, why do they kill him just after that? Why do two teens get released from the alien vessel and brought back to earth? Why don't they get tortured or killed? Why don't the "group of teens" get in a car and drive away as fast as they can the minute they see that something awkward is going on? Why do they barricade the house when it the previous scene it became obvious that the aliens can knock down walls? Why do none of the girls get mutilated? Why do we see the back of the head of that mysterious yet irrelevant smoking dude at the end for 5 minutes only to see his face after that - even if we don't recognise him when they show his face? Do you see where I'm going with this? In any case, the movie is, in one word, pointless...
At best, you should watch this movie so you can scratch your head in wonder. Otherwise, there is really no reason to see this... It's not Sci-Fi, it's not even Horror. Perhaps it's a comedy, in which case, it deserves a 2 out of 10. It may be wise to just wait for the parody because there is lots of room to rip on this movie.
Review by Eva Comaroski from the Internet Movie Database.
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