10,000 Days |
  • USA • 2014 • 91m •   • Directed by: Eric Small. • Starring: John Schneider, Peter Wingfield, James Harvey Ward, Kim Myers, Lisa Pelikan, Kenneth Meseroll, Riley Smith, Jill Remez, Jay Montalvo, Jules Willcox, Kelsey Sanders, Kasey Campbell, Blake Randall. • Music by: Joseph LoDuca.      10,000 Days ago, Comet 23 struck Earth with the magnitude of all the nuclear weapons in the world sending the planet into a deep freeze. Now, 27 years in the future, those who survived are locked in an epic battle of life or death.
|
Trailers:
| Length: | Languages: | Subtitles: |
Review:
First, the special effects are really B-grade. I mean, seriously cheap stuff and lots of green screen which is blatantly obvious. Secondly, the plot is laughable.
==For the record, even though I cannot possibly fathom why you'd watch this thing, SPOILER ALERT. Major spoilers from now on.==
I mean, picture this: you and your clan are barely surviving in what looks like a frozen wasteland up on the mountains in some "observatory", for f#ck's sake. Moreover, another clan wants said observatory and your ass. You go to explore some under-ice cavern and all of a sudden, Airforce-bloody-One falls down after some tremor. In one piece. Wings and all. You go inside, find everyone frozen solid. So, what do you get from, I repeat, Airforce-bloody-One? Food? Nope. Medical supplies? Noooooo... Guns? Nah. Batteries? Flashlights? Clothes? None of the above. Instead, they get the... wait for it... black boxes of the plane (!!!) and some nondescript radio-looking thing (the size of a cell phone) that allows them to... communicate with the US nuclear silos. Obviously, the black boxes themselves have a 3.5" audio jack and a play button, so you just hook it up and listen. Right? Do. Not. Think. So.
Thirdly, the science is beyond laughable. I mean, these guys didn't even ask a high-school graduate about the scientific validity of the plot, let alone a real physicist. Get a hold of this: the earth is struck by a comet, which knocks it off its orbit around the sun (hence the frozen wasteland) and they want to re-warm the area by using a few nuclear warheads. I mean, where do I even start with this? A. any celestial body big enough to knock earth off its orbit in any substantial manner, would have vaporised half the earth's crust and sent the entire planet back to the state it was a few billion years ago, i.e. ball of molten lava. Or almost that. B. you cannot re-warm an area for any significant amount of time by using nuclear bombs. Sure, if you calculate it precisely, you could thaw out a few square kilometres, but in a "snowball earth" scenario, it would freeze right back within a few hours. Not before irradiating said surface and you with it, though, with lethal amounts of all sorts of sugar and spice. C. You cannot and do not charge batteries and flashlights by rubbing wool! Static electricity does not work this way! D. People do not die when the vehicle they're in hits a bump (and a moderate one at that) and they positively do not come back to life spontaneously, a minute after CPR.
Finally, the so-called movie ends, not with a bang, not with a conclusion, but, because it was meant to be a TV series, with a cliffhanger! But not before ruining 90 minutes of your life with ridiculous ice-pick fights, complete with axes and walking sticks, people who survive apparently polar conditions yet their only barrier from the below-zero conditions is an ordinary metal door (!). Oh, and the bad guys live in ice caves.
So, is that enough for you? If you want more and your life is 90 minutes too full of worthwhile things to do, by all means, go ahead and watch it. If you want to watch a movie that actually makes sense, even in a distant, remote kind of way, distance yourself from this abomination correspondingly.
Review by skagon from the Internet Movie Database.
Movie Database