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2012: Supernova

2012: Supernova (2009) Movie Poster
USA  •    •  87m  •    •  Directed by: Anthony Fankhauser.  •  Starring: Brian Krause, Heather McComb, Najarra Townsend, Allura Lee, Alan Poe, Londale Theus, Stephen Schneider, Rob Ullett, Dana Tomasko, Rick L. Dean, Pete Angelikus, William Joseph Hutchins, Doug Newman.  •  Music by: Chris Ridenhour.
        A scientist, races against a deadline to place a shield between the Earth and the oncoming blast-wave from a Supernova. As well as the efforts of doom cult to sabotage the project believing it to be God's Will Course" and allow the population of the Earth to be consumed by the intense radiation in the wave.

Trailers:

   Length:  Languages:  Subtitles:
 1:16
 
 

Review:

Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Image from: 2012: Supernova (2009)
Attempting to find a starting place for this review is like showing up at a massive train wreck to help clean up the remains. There's not really a good starting point, so you just have to dive in with your shovel.

Brian Krause is the illustrious Dr. Kelvin, one of three scientists on a mission to save the world from a deadly, planet-obliterating supernova. His allies? Two other scientists who have come straight out of page 9 of "Stereotypes Weekly" - A vodka-swilling Russian with a terrible accent, and a cute petite Chinese scientist who you secretly suspect to turn traitor at any moment.

Amidst saving the earth, Kelvin is distracted by threats ranging from Iranian terrorists (see page 13 of "Stereotypes Weekly"), to his hot 33 year old wife and hot 23 year old daughter who can't travel 30 miles in three days, to a ninja attempting to kill him (who looks and sounds like a petite Chinese woman...). Even his Vulcan-esque ally Henreaux eventually starts questioning whether Doc Kelvin should try to subvert the hand of God.

So can the good doctor save the earth? He sure hopes to, and he has a fire-proof plan to do it: detonating a bazillion nuclear warheads right smack dab above the Earth's atmosphere. What could possibly go wrong? I have tried everything imaginable to come up with something positive enough to give this film two stars, but I simply can't. The only redeeming factor in this whole film is that the camera operators had enough skill to somehow manage to keep the cameras steady and in focus. This is quite the feat, as simply being on this set should reduce most mortals to a quivering, nauseated wreck. I suspect that they have worked as crime scene photographers, as the only way to build up the fortitude to capture a piece of work like this, as well as they have, would be to spend your days finding the best angle to really capture a mutilated decaying body left to rot in a swamp somewhere.

To help understand the horror that is this atrocious waste of film, I've broke my rating into the following categories:

Originality: 0 out of 10 stars. There's nothing original about this film, down to the mockbuster title. The plot is terrible, and feels like they pulled bits and pieces from a number of places. The film relied heavily on stereotypes, from Iranian terrorists that didn't really have anything to do with the film, to the inbred country hillbilly that wants to have his way with the daughter (I guess his threshold for hotness is somewhere in the 10ish years that these two actresses are apart from one another). It left you feeling like you've seen parts of this film somewhere, but you can't imagine ever voluntarily looking upon a sight so wretched.

Artistic & Technical execution: 1 out of 10 stars. NASA is apparently launching shuttles from a power plant where everyone drives golf carts. The base that Kelvin & Co. work from is shot in a warehouse. The computer technology is on par with ENIAC. The graphics in the film were terrible, even for a no-budget film, and I was appalled that they chose to use stock footage from both the Challenger and Colombia disasters to represent their shuttle being blown up. Further, the cockpits of these shuttles were ridiculous, and looked more like a set one might build for their little kids. The space station is even worse, not to mention the very convenient fact that there is apparently gravity in space now, as the crew can just walk around from place to place. The only reason I give this category a single star is because somehow, amidst the sea full of awful, the camera crew managed to get their stuff right for the most part.

Content: 0 out of 10 stars. Everything about this film is wrong. Why do a mid-30's looking couple have a biological child in her mid 20's who looks nothing like them? Why do the special agents allow the girls to go back home while the entire planet is apparently falling apart around them? The film has plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. They sort of allude to some people thinking that stopping Earth's demise is playing against the hand of God, but then why does the stereotypical Chinese girl (who doesn't ascribe to western religion) try to kill everyone off? Why does Kelvin seem suspicious of the drunk Russian, and not the fit Chinese girl when he just had his butt kicked by a masked assailant who was very clearly a fit Chinese girl? Seriously, there is nothing in this film that makes any sense. The science portrayed in this film is laughable at best, and they seem to ignore crucial facts, like the fact that the edge of Earth's magnetosphere is some 125 times farther from earth than any space shuttle has ever flown. We're talking tens of thousands of miles here.

Overall experience: 0 out of 10 stars. Nothing in this film felt right. At some points I wondered if the scenes with the girls were going to break out into some sort of adult film. It was awkward, and nobody in the film seemed comfortable in their roles. Being an aspiring filmmaker, I love low budget indie flicks, and even by those standards, this is bad. Some films are so bad that they're funny. This film is so much worse that it goes all the way past funny, back around to being horrid.


Review by jimdclements from the Internet Movie Database.