Martian Land |
USA • 2015 • 86m •
  • Directed by: Scott Wheeler. • Starring: Lane Townsend, Alan Pietruszewski, Jennifer Dorogi, Arianna Afsar, Chloe Farnworth, Chaim Dunbar, Dionne Neish, Caroline Williams, Eddy Owdish, Caroline Attwood, Dan Czerwonka, James Wong, Maximilian Elfeldt. • Music by: Christopher Cano.      In the distant future, mankind lives on Mars, in cities that resemble those once found on Earth, protected from the alien atmosphere by dome-like force-fields. When a massive sandstorm breaks through the dome and destroys Mars New York, those in Mars Los Angeles must figure out how to stop the storm before it wipes them out next.
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Review:
After seeing 'Martian Land', giving it a fair chance and trying to not let bias get the better of me, as much as it actually pains me to say it do agree with everybody else who not only found it an awful film but also one of The Asylum's worst. Very much the same as what was said about 'Alien Convergence' and a few other Asylum efforts seen recently. One of their most amateurish and intelligence-insulting certainly, all their trademark flaws are here in 'Martian Land'.
Just for the record, giving a film the lowest possible rating is incredibly rare for me these days, trying to be a fair reviewer trying to see the good in everything viewed. That rating is only reserved for films etc. that look like no effort or heart was put into it and like nobody was trying, a cardinal sin in film but actually not committed all that often. 'Martian Land' is one of the worst examples of this in recent memory.
Visually, 'Martian Land' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. Even worse are some of the most laughable and pathetic-looking special effects to be seen on celluloid, actually looking they were done as an afterthought and on the small remainder of the money they had left.
Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. The dialogue is utter gibberish and truly juvenile and unnatural, even by The Asylum standards and even in their best efforts the script is one of the weaker assets. How it was approved beyond first draft, or suggesting ideas stage, is beyond comprehension.
There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. Lets not get started on how insultingly nonsensical and ridiculous it is, things similarly are so vague and confused that coherence was also a major issue in places. The conflict had no urgency, imagination, fun or menace at all, it was all just dull and dumb.
As sort of expected, as it is a trademark of The Asylum it seems, there are illogical and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. There is not one halfway decent performance either, almost like they weren't even trying.
Overall, awful with nothing redeeming about it, except that it is not quite as blatantly derivative as other Asylum efforts.
Review by TheLittleSongbird from the Internet Movie Database.
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