Alien Siege |
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USA • 2018 • 85m •
  • Directed by: Rob Pallatina. • Starring: Sharon Desiree, Arielle Hader, Michael Hardman, Brandon Johnston, Christina Licciardi, Michael Love, Betsy McKinley, Matthew Pohlkamp, Ryan Patrick Shanahan, Terry Woodberry, Sanford Worth. • Music by: Christopher Cano, Chris Ridenhour.    After an alien space craft appears above Washington, D.C., a disparate band of residents in a small Connecticut town must fight off a unit of alien soldiers on the hunt for the President of the United States after his escape chopper crash lands nearby.
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Review:
By The Asylum standards, 'Alien Siege' is not quite one of their worst (though close). At least there is a little unintentional laughter at times rather than the usual constant groans and cringes, though they are there too aplenty. That is not saying an awful lot though, as 'Alien Siege' is still awful in every single way with no saving graces other than the fleeting novelty value. Just to make things clear, am not biased against low-budget films, or of the genre the film fits under. Have seen my fair share of guilty pleasures that were made on a modest or less budget and there are films of that budget that still manage to overcome budget limitations and execute other elements well enough to be passable at least. 'Alien Siege' is not one of those and personally do feel, and am feeling apologetic about this, that that it's low budget is not an excuse for such low quality. This is an example of a film that was a non-trier, one that looked as if no effort or heart went into it, hence the lowest possible rating here scored (rarely give them out these days).
Visually, although not the worst-looking film from The Asylum, 'Alien Siege' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. Saying the special effects are less than special is insulting, they are some of the most laughable and pathetic-looking special effects to be seen on celluloid, actually looking they were done as an afterthought and on the small remainder of the money they had left.
Music is intrusive, monotonous and repetitive, music is very important for me to talk about when reviewing something and it really wasn't pleasant hearing music that gave you earache and nausea. The sound is poorly balanced and borderline creepy. The dialogue is utter gibberish and truly childish, almost like there wasn't a script at all. How it was approved beyond first draft is beyond comprehension.
There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. Lets not get started on how insultingly nonsensical and ridiculous it is, things similarly are so vague and confused that coherence was also a major issue in places. Any conflict had no urgency, imagination, fun or menace at all, it was all just dull and dumb, with dizzingly shot and edited action that lacked any kind of energy, enjoyment or tension.
As sort of expected, there are illogical and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character. There is not one halfway decent performance either, almost like they weren't even trying or didn't know what their lines were or what to do with them. The threat not only looks cheap, they are not threatening or menacing at all, they are not even interesting...basically nothing.
Summarising, very lousy and that is me saying that in a slightly generous mood.
Review by TheLittleSongbird from the Internet Movie Database.
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