Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor

Canada • 2011 • 90m •

• Directed by: Brett Kelly. • Starring: Ray Besharah, Celine Filion, Jody Haucke, Emanuelle Carriere, Gabrielle Mackenzie, Lenard A. Blackburn, Matthew Champ, Anna Lisa Ferrari, Paul Finnigan, Brett Kelly, Randy Kimmett, J. Raymond Lavoie, John E. McLenachan. • Music by: Daniel Levin, Christopher Nickel.

A group of religious zealots known as The Death Risers have an evil plot to destroy the world by bringing to Earth the Norse God they worship: The Goddess of the Undead, known as Hel!.

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Image from: Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor (2011)

I have a theory about movies by directors who wear too many hats, actor, writer, jack-of-all-trades; they are almost all micro budget and almost always suck. Either the director is trying to save money by cutting the size of the cast, or are deluded enough to think they can perform all roles better than others who have spent years honing their craft. After seeing that the director, also cast himself as Thor, it is likely the latter.

The director and writer have a long list of credits. How? Why? In what universe was this allowed to happen? To be fair to the writer though, maybe the story started off good before it was "improved" by the director, producer or some other "executive" with power but not the skill.

The movie begins with a Star Wars-like scrolling text which blabs on about Asgard, Midgard and other weakly veiled Tolkein rip-offs. Fine, whatever, get us into the story, but it drags on and on, precious minutes wasted, the same info could have been said in 14 the words. Strangely, music plays over a voice-over narration of the scrolling words, as a result of the music, we can't hear the narration.

The opening shot of a car and gunmen posing by a car in a snowy parking lot, drags on as well. We see shots of gunmen cocking the weapons, a shot of a gun being cocked backlit by a car headlight; walking towards camera in slow-mo and then seemingly repeating the walk towards camera again. Also, this is shot in video, probably high definition but video just the same.

There's some kind of scene between the Gods early on, with a multi-colored aurora borealis light effect don't know what they are saying and don't care.

Acting is wooden and fake at worst, and hammy at best. The tall, manicured-bearded villain or main henchman of the piece is the most entertaining. Hammy in the extreme, but he is fun to watch. Even the ridiculous, extended fight scene with the female detective is fun. Watching him fake fight with the grunting gal is strangely painful but fun at the same time. The female detective looks like somebody's girlfriend or relative, cast as a favor. She is too young, too feminine to be believable as a tough homicide detective. Wide-eyed, and out-of-her-depth she stumbles through the movie doing the best she can. But is let down by the story, and cheapo production value.

There is something about a "battle suit" being developed by scientists that gives the wearer amazing powers. How amazing? Well, he might look like a total Mighty Morphin Power Ranger spastic but he can conjure blue fire balls with his battle suit gloved hands and unleash said blue fire balls at 70s era-like Godzilla style flying dinosaur puppets.

There are also some other characters, in rented Halloween-like costumes, witches, warlocks who gather here and there and chatter a lot. Not sure what that's about.

Bottom lime, only worth watching for a laugh.

P.S. Did I mention that the sound was added in post and dialogue is not synched to actors.

Review by jasonforce1 from the Internet Movie Database.

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